So, who made you do this one Channing?

The Western actor Hugh O’Brian said there are four stages in an actor’s career: ‘Who’s Hugh O’Brian? Get me Hugh O’Brian. Get me a young Hugh O’Brian. Who’s Hugh O’Brian?’

Obviously O’Brian was smarter than many of the roles he played but in fact there are really only two stages in an actor’s career; the first stage when the work chooses you, and the second stage when you choose the work. Channing Tatum is happily in stage two but a couple of weeks ago he made headlines by referring to the first stage of his career in which he was ‘forced’ to do G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra.

Let’s be clear. It’s not like anyone was putting a gun to his head or holding relatives hostage. The ‘forcing’ came about as the result of a contractual obligation to a three-picture deal for which he was doubtless handsomely recompensed. As it goes The Rise of Cobra made a lot of money, so much so that the sequel G.I. Joe: Retaliation had production interrupted to include even more Tatum. Presumably he was even more handsomely recompensed for this; if he wasn’t he should be looking for a new agent.

Neither film was especially bad of its type, the second one was better and not just because of added Channing. They made a lot of money and very firmly established Tatum as a star, and put him into the stage of his career where he chooses the work rather than vice versa. Which made me wonder as I was watching Magic Mike XXL; why choose this Channing?

It’s a sequel to Magic Mike, a movie based on Tatum’s brief career interval as a male stripper. It starred Tatum, Alex Pettyfer, and Matthew McConaughey and was probably the film that kicked off the hopefully short-lived McConnaisance. Perhaps most notably Magic Mike was directed by Steven Soderbergh and if the one thing you can say about a Soderbergh film is that there is no such thing as a Soderbergh film, even for him this seemed a left-field choice.

The problem with Magic Mike is that the idea was too thin. It ran out of steam by the end of the second act leaving us with a leaden finale which turns the film into a dull and worthy morality tale. But how do you craft a sequel to a story that could barely sustain one film. The answer is simple; you just don’t bother with a story.

Magic Mike XXL makes as much sense as it title. Two of the principals from the first movie – McConaughey and Pettyfer – aren’t involved here and the story revolves around the remainder of the troupe of male entertainers getting together again for one final hoorah, at a stripper conference in Myrtle Beach.

There is no characterisation or nuance. Every line lands with a dull expository thud. There is no drama, nothing is risked, and there is nothing at stake. Magic Mike XXL is like one long hen night – they are doing the show because they are doing the show. One last ride? So what? It’s a collection of bump and grind dance numbers with no obvious intention other than objectification and titillation.

Soderbergh is missing this time, or sort of. His loyal lieutenant Gregory Jacobs is in the director’s chair but Soderbergh did shoot it and cut it which means he is presumably responsible for some jarring editorial choices. There are moments in the Andie MacDowell hen party sequence which suggest they just don’t have the coverage.

What is most disturbing about Magic Mike XXL is what it says about women, or how those involved regard them. Mike and his pals are simply fresh meat for various frenzied mobs of women. The suggestion here is that sexual empowerment for women consists of nothing more than having a well-oiled, hard-bodied male cram his crotch into your face. Meanwhile Jada Pinkett Smith gives the same performance she gives in every film prowling around as a sleazy MC telling the ladies that this is what they really want. Amirite girls?

The Bechdel Test is well established now but films like this suggest we need a new version, perhaps something that quantifies just how egregious a film is. Something like this which manages to infantilise men and women and objectifies both would set the bar pretty low.

But to go back to where we started maybe there is a third stage to an actor’s career after all. There is the stage where the work chooses you, the stage where you choose the work, and the stage where they pay you so much money that you just don’t care. That I would suggest is where Tatum is at round about now. And with talk of Magic Mike 3 in the offing, one final question; just how much money is enough, Channing?