The Star Wars saga ends with a whimper not a bang

The older you get the fewer surprises there are in life, which is not necessarily as good as it sounds. When I was little going to the Princes in Springburn the first thing I did when I went into the cinema was turn around and look at the banner for what was coming on the following week. If you wanted to find out what was on anywhere else, then you had to wait for the ads on the listings pages in the Sunday Mail. Our informationless world was a less complicated but much more satisfying place.

These days, thanks to any number of websites, you can find release schedules for the next two years; you have to actively avoid knowing what’s coming out when, or what it’s about. The rise of the franchise movie means we have created a world where our desires are ceaselessly teased, trailed, and generally manufactured to make sure that you are there on that all-important opening day. Then you have to run the gauntlet of spoilers to make sure you retain your fresh impression of whatever this week’s big franchise movie is, all the while having your appetite artificially whetted for next week’s big franchise movie.

Let me go back to that opening sentence.  What do I mean by old? I mean I remember seeing the first three Star Wars films in their original versions on their original release. I was in my twenties, just, when Star Wars came out in 1977. It is hard to describe the impact the film had, largely because it was an unknown quantity. We knew it was a big, science fiction movie but that was it.

What a visceral thrill it was to see something we had really never seen before. It was unbelievably exciting and more important; it pushed the boundaries of cinema in a way that even Martin Scorsese would accept. There were technologies introduced in this film which revolutionised the way films would be made. It was a success at ever level. The same applied to The Empire Strikes Back (1980) and, albeit to a slightly lesser extent, The Return of the Jedi (1983).

All of which brings me in a convoluted manner to the latest Star Wars movie, or as we must now call it, Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker. There is very little excitement here for me I’m afraid. It is visually spectacular, but the feeling is that it is all in the service of selling the audience another toy or action figure. It is as soulless a piece of corporate ballyhoo as you will come across.

Narratively The Rise of Skywalker seems to feel the need to spend most of its time retelling what happened in the past two movies as Rey (Daisy Ridley) and Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) head towards their inevitable destinies. This time round The Final Order, not to be confused with The First Order of previous movies, stands in their path. Obviously, I am going to avoid spoiling things for you.

It is entirely plot driven, this happens, then that happens, then this happens, and – oh wait – yeah, that happens. There is not a shred of innovation or character development in the whole movie; there is no story, just plot. It feels like a once-fashionable rock band churning out the tired old hits on the contractual obligation album.

There are inevitable comparisons with the Marvel Cinematic Issues, with which I also have issues in its manipulation of the audience. However, the MCU took a bumpy start and under the creative control of one man, Kevin Feige, turned it into a seamless narrative and commercial success. By comparison the Star Wars franchise, even though we were told that George Lucas in the mid-seventies had plans for a nine-movie saga, still looks like it is spinning its wheels from film to film.

A Star Wars movie used to be an event, now it is part of a process. A great big, box-ticking, make sure you get everything in regardless of whether it fits, process.

The Rise of Skywalker is not a bad film by today’s standards, it’s just not a terribly good one. It does not capture the imagination, the only times I was emotionally moved was by John Williams’s magnificent music cues that reminded me of the original scenes to which they are calling back.

Technically the film is a triumph and there is no doubt a lot of toys will be sold on the back of it. But I would have given anything to have felt, however briefly, a fraction of the excitement and innovation of the first one.